Here’s a conversation we have frequently at Seaside Nannies: “We just hired a wonderful nanny, and we want to start this relationship off right. What should we do in the first month to set everyone up for success?” After twenty years of supporting families through nanny placements, we can tell you this: the first thirty days matter enormously. How you onboard your new nanny, what you prioritize during those initial weeks, and how intentionally you build the foundation of this relationship will significantly impact whether this placement thrives for years or struggles from the beginning.
Too many families treat the first month as a trial period where they’re primarily evaluating whether the nanny measures up. While assessment certainly happens during this time, the families who build the strongest, longest-lasting nanny relationships approach the first thirty days differently. They see this month as an investment in partnership, an opportunity to set clear expectations, build trust, and create systems that will support excellent childcare for the long term.
If you’ve just hired a nanny or you’re about to start with someone new, this roadmap will guide you through what to prioritize each week of the first month. These aren’t rigid rules. Every family and every nanny is different. But these guidelines reflect what we’ve learned from thousands of successful placements about what helps new nanny relationships flourish.
Before Day One: Setting the Stage for Success
The work of onboarding your new nanny actually begins before their first official day. How you prepare in advance signals to your nanny whether you value their professionalism and want to set them up for success, or whether you’re winging it and expecting them to figure everything out on their own.
Create a welcome packet with essential information your nanny needs. Include your family’s daily routines and schedules, children’s current eating and sleeping patterns, medical information and emergency contacts, house rules and expectations, information about your neighborhood and local resources, and practical details like WiFi passwords, alarm codes, and how to work various household systems.
Prepare your home for your nanny’s arrival. Make sure they have a designated space for their belongings, clear instructions about what areas of the home are theirs to use freely, and access to everything they’ll need to care for your children. Stock the pantry and refrigerator with foods your children eat and ingredients your nanny might need for meal preparation. Make sure car seats are properly installed if your nanny will be driving your children.
Have a written job description and clear expectations document ready. We’ll talk more about this in week one, but having this prepared before your nanny starts demonstrates that you’ve thought carefully about what you need and respect their professionalism enough to be clear about expectations.
If you have time before your nanny’s official start date, consider inviting them over for a casual meet-and-greet where they can spend time with your children in a low-pressure setting while you’re present. This helps children start building comfort with their new nanny and gives your nanny a preview of your home environment and family dynamics.
One family we worked with in the Washington DC area created a beautiful welcome basket for their new nanny with a handwritten note, some local treats, a reusable water bottle for staying hydrated during busy days, and a small notebook for jotting down questions or observations. The gesture cost very little but communicated warmth and thoughtfulness that set a positive tone from the very beginning.
Week One: Building Foundation and Trust
The first week is about helping your nanny learn your family’s rhythms, building rapport with your children, and establishing clear communication patterns. Resist the urge to leave your nanny alone with your children for long stretches immediately. If possible, plan to be home or work from home during much of the first week so you’re available for questions, can observe how things are going, and can help your nanny feel supported as they orient to your household.
Have a comprehensive orientation conversation on day one or two. Walk through your home together, showing your nanny where everything is located. Review your children’s routines in detail, not just what time things happen but how you do them. Show them how you prefer bottles prepared, how bedtime routine flows, where you keep first aid supplies, how you handle discipline, and all the small details that make up your family’s daily life.
Introduce clear communication expectations right away. Discuss how and when you want updates during the day. Do you prefer text messages with photos? A brief end-of-day verbal summary? A shared digital log? How should your nanny reach you in different types of situations? What constitutes an emergency that requires immediate contact versus information that can wait until you’re available?
Spend time observing your nanny with your children without hovering or micromanaging. You want to see how they interact, whether your children seem comfortable, and whether your nanny’s approach aligns with what you discussed during the interview process. But you also want to give your nanny space to start building their own relationship with your children without constantly feeling evaluated.
Review and sign your work agreement if you haven’t already. Make sure compensation, schedule, benefits, house rules, and job responsibilities are documented clearly. Discuss and agree on how you’ll handle things like sick days, vacation requests, overtime, and schedule changes.
Ask your nanny how they’re feeling about the first week. What questions do they have? What’s been going well? What’s been confusing or challenging? Creating space for honest two-way communication from the very beginning establishes that this is a partnership where both parties can speak openly.
Expect some awkwardness and adjustment during week one. Your children might be clingy or test boundaries with the new nanny. Your nanny might be quieter or more tentative as they’re learning your preferences. This is completely normal. The goal isn’t perfection in week one. The goal is creating a foundation of clear communication, mutual respect, and genuine effort on both sides.
Week Two: Establishing Routines and Independence
By week two, your nanny should be starting to feel more comfortable with your family’s basic routines and your children should be adjusting to having them around. This is the week to start stepping back a bit more, giving your nanny greater independence while remaining available as a resource.
If you’ve been home most of the time during week one, start leaving for longer periods during week two. Begin with shorter absences and gradually extend them. This helps your children adjust to you leaving while the nanny is there, and it gives your nanny the experience of managing situations independently while knowing you’re still relatively accessible if questions arise.
Use week two to refine routines based on what you learned in week one. If your nanny has observations about what’s working well or ideas for adjustments, listen thoughtfully. They might notice that your toddler seems to need a snack earlier than you’d been offering one, or that the timing of afternoon activities could be adjusted to work better with your baby’s nap schedule. Professional nannies bring valuable expertise. Trust their observations while maintaining clear boundaries about family decisions that are yours to make.
Introduce your nanny to your broader support network during week two if you haven’t already. This might include neighbors who occasionally help with childcare pickups, parents of your children’s friends, your pediatrician’s office staff, or other people your nanny might interact with regularly. Help facilitate these introductions so your nanny feels integrated into your family’s community.
Start establishing documentation and communication rhythms. If you want daily logs or weekly summaries, make sure your nanny understands the format and level of detail you prefer. Review what they’re providing and give constructive feedback if adjustments would be helpful. The goal is creating systems that work sustainably long-term, not elaborate documentation that becomes burdensome.
Check in midweek with a more structured conversation. How is your nanny feeling about the adjustment? What’s been easier than expected? What’s been harder? Are there household systems or routines that aren’t clear yet? Is there anything about your children’s personalities or needs that surprises them? Use this check-in to address small issues before they become bigger ones.
Pay attention to how your children are responding to your nanny. Most children take time to fully warm up to new caregivers, but you should see positive signs of connection developing. Your children should seem comfortable with your nanny even if they still prefer you. They should be engaged in activities and generally content during the day. If you’re seeing significant distress, regression, or behavior changes, address this promptly rather than assuming it will resolve on its own.
Week Three: Building Confidence and Competence
Week three is often when things start to click. Your nanny has learned your routines, your children have adjusted to having them around, and everyone is settling into a rhythm. This is the week to start introducing more complexity and giving your nanny opportunities to demonstrate their full capabilities.
Introduce activities or outings that extend beyond your home. If your nanny will eventually be taking your children to classes, playgroups, parks, or other activities, start incorporating these during week three. Go together the first time if possible to show your nanny where things are, introduce them to other caregivers or instructors, and model how you handle logistics. Then let them take the lead in subsequent trips.
Discuss your children’s developmental needs and goals. Share what you hope your children will learn or work on during this period of their lives. Talk about behavioral issues you want addressed, skills you want developed, or areas where your children need support. Help your nanny understand how their daily work connects to bigger-picture goals for your children’s growth and wellbeing.
Give your nanny increasing autonomy in planning daily activities and making routine decisions. You’ve spent two weeks showing them how you do things. Now start trusting them to do things their way within the framework of your family’s values and rules. Professional nannies bring creativity, expertise, and fresh perspectives. Creating space for them to use their judgment helps them feel valued and often benefits your children.
Address any concerns or adjustments needed. By week three, if there are aspects of your nanny’s approach that aren’t working for your family, address them directly and constructively. Don’t let issues fester. Similarly, if your nanny raises concerns about something in your household or your children’s behavior, take them seriously and work together on solutions.
Introduce normal life complications. If you typically have evening work commitments, weekend activities, or travel, start incorporating these into week three so your nanny sees what your family’s real life looks like beyond the initial honeymoon period. Discuss how these situations will be handled and what expectations exist around flexibility and schedule adjustments.
Have a week three check-in focused on trajectory. Are things moving in a positive direction? Does everyone feel increasingly comfortable and confident? Are there systems or processes that need adjustment? Use this conversation to affirm what’s going well and address anything that’s not quite working yet.
This is also a good week to start discussing longer-term considerations. If your nanny will eventually be responsible for things like coordinating your children’s schedules, managing household restocking, or taking on additional responsibilities as everyone settles in, start introducing these gradually during week three rather than suddenly expanding expectations after the initial thirty-day period ends.
Week Four: Transitioning to Normal Operations
Week four is about transitioning from the onboarding period to normal, sustainable operations. You’re not done supporting and developing this relationship, but by the end of week four, things should feel reasonably steady and you should have confidence that this placement will work long-term.
Return to your normal work schedule and family routines if you’ve been modifying them during the onboarding period. Your nanny needs to experience what typical weeks actually look like, not artificially simplified versions. This is also when you’ll discover if anything needs adjustment now that you’re back to real life rather than the focused attention of the first month.
Have an end-of-month review conversation. Discuss what’s gone well, what’s been challenging, what you’ve learned about working together, and what you want to focus on moving forward. This is a good time to review the job description and make any necessary adjustments based on what you’ve learned about your actual needs versus what you anticipated before your nanny started.
Affirm your nanny’s strengths and contributions. Be specific about things they’ve done well, ways your children have responded positively, and aspects of their work that you genuinely appreciate. Many families forget to explicitly share positive feedback, focusing only on corrections or concerns. Your nanny needs to know what’s working well so they can continue doing those things.
Address any remaining concerns directly. If there are aspects of your nanny’s work that still need improvement, be clear and constructive. Provide specific feedback about what you’d like to see change and support them in making those adjustments. But also assess honestly whether your expectations are reasonable or whether you’re being overly critical about minor differences in approach.
Discuss the path forward. Talk about how check-ins will work going forward, how you’ll handle schedule changes or vacation planning, how you’ll address issues or concerns as they arise, and what ongoing communication will look like. Establish that while the intensive onboarding period is ending, your commitment to maintaining a strong working relationship continues.
Celebrate making it through the first month. This is a genuine milestone. The first thirty days of any new nanny relationship involve significant adjustment for everyone. Acknowledging that you’ve successfully navigated this transition together reinforces positive feelings about the relationship and sets an optimistic tone for the future.
Consider whether any aspects of compensation, schedule, or responsibilities should be adjusted after the first month. Some families build in a review after thirty or ninety days where they discuss whether the initial agreement still makes sense or whether adjustments would better reflect the actual role and the nanny’s performance.
Common First-Month Challenges and How to Handle Them
Even with the best onboarding process, challenges often arise during the first thirty days. Knowing what’s normal and how to address common issues helps you navigate them constructively rather than panicking or assuming the placement won’t work.
Your children may test boundaries with the new nanny in ways they don’t with you. This is completely normal. Children often experiment with what they can get away with when a new authority figure enters their lives. Support your nanny in establishing their own relationship with your children while maintaining consistent expectations about behavior.
You might notice your nanny doing things differently than you do them. Unless it’s a safety issue or something that violates your core values, give your nanny space to develop their own approach. There are often multiple right ways to accomplish childcare tasks, and your nanny’s way might work beautifully even if it’s not exactly how you’d do it.
Communication gaps or misunderstandings happen frequently in the first month as everyone learns each other’s communication styles and assumptions. When these occur, address them promptly and use them as learning opportunities to clarify expectations and improve communication going forward.
Your nanny might be quieter or more reserved during the first month than they’ll become once they’re comfortable. Alternatively, they might try very hard to impress you in ways that aren’t sustainable long-term. Give the relationship time to find its natural equilibrium rather than assuming their initial presentation is exactly who they’ll be six months from now.
You might feel weird about having someone in your home so much, especially if this is your first time employing household staff. That adjustment is about you, not your nanny. Give yourself time to get comfortable with having help while being respectful and professional with your nanny throughout this adjustment.
What Success Looks Like After Thirty Days
At the end of the first month, successful placements typically share certain characteristics. You should feel increasingly comfortable leaving your children in your nanny’s care. Your children should show signs of bonding with your nanny and should generally seem happy and engaged during the day. Basic routines and systems should be established and running reasonably smoothly.
Communication should flow naturally, with your nanny proactively sharing information and asking questions when needed. You should see evidence that your nanny understands your children’s needs and responds appropriately. Small issues that arose early on should be resolving or improving.
You should feel optimistic about the long-term trajectory of this relationship. Not perfect, not without any concerns, but fundamentally positive about having this nanny as part of your family’s life.
The Seaside Nannies Difference in Supporting New Placements
At Seaside Nannies, we don’t disappear once we make a placement. We stay involved during these critical first thirty days, checking in with both families and nannies, helping troubleshoot challenges, providing coaching and support, and ensuring that the matches we’ve made are thriving.
We tailor-fit every step of our process, which means we’re thinking about your specific family’s needs and your specific nanny’s strengths as we guide you through onboarding. Never automated, never one-size-fits-all. We know that successful long-term placements require intentional work during the first month, and we’re committed to helping you get this foundation right.
For families working with professional nannies in areas like Washington DC where the pace of life is intense and the demands on families are significant, having agency support during the transition period can make the difference between a smooth start and a rocky one. We’re here to help you navigate the inevitable adjustments, answer questions as they arise, and ensure that both you and your nanny feel supported.
If you’re starting with a new nanny or considering hiring one, we invite you to work with a team that stays involved beyond placement. The first thirty days are too important to navigate alone, and we’re committed to seeing your nanny relationship succeed for the long term.
