You made it through the interview. Your references checked out. The family liked you enough to offer a trial week, and now you’re about to spend several paid days proving you can actually do the job. The pressure feels intense because you know this trial determines whether you get a real offer or whether you’re back to searching.
Here’s what most nannies don’t fully understand about trial weeks: families aren’t primarily evaluating whether you have childcare skills. They’re assuming you have basic competence or they wouldn’t have invited you for a trial. What they’re really assessing during these few days is harder to quantify – whether you fit into their family culture, whether their kids respond to you, whether the daily reality of having you in their home feels right, and whether they can imagine this working long-term.
After twenty years placing nannies with Los Angeles families and households nationwide, we know exactly what makes trial weeks succeed or fail. Some nannies nail trials and get immediate offers. Others are perfectly competent but something about those few days tells families this isn’t the right match. The difference usually isn’t about your resume or experience. It’s about dozens of small interactions and impressions that either build confidence or create doubt.
Let’s talk about what families are actually watching for, what matters more than you probably think, and how to position yourself for success during these critical few days.
They’re Watching How Kids Respond to You
The single biggest factor determining whether you get an offer? Whether their children seem comfortable with you and interested in engaging. Families can overlook a lot if their kids are drawn to you. They’ll have serious doubts if kids seem indifferent or resistant even if you’re doing everything else right.
You can’t force chemistry with kids and trying too hard usually backfires. The nannies who succeed during trials meet kids where they are emotionally rather than pushing for connection. If a three-year-old is shy and hanging back, don’t chase them around trying to engage. Let them observe you, stay warm and available, and wait for them to come to you. Kids sense desperation and it makes them wary.
Parents are watching whether you read their children accurately. If their toddler is getting overstimulated and heading toward a meltdown, do you recognize the signs and help them regulate? If their school-age kid is trying to show you something they’re proud of, do you give genuine attention or brush it off because you’re focused on tasks?
They’re noticing whether you speak to their children respectfully. The nannies who succeed talk to kids like real people, not babies. They get down to eye level for conversations. They validate feelings even when redirecting behavior. They avoid baby talk with older kids and they don’t use that patronizing singsong voice some caregivers default to.
Pay attention to how kids are acting around you by day three versus day one. If they’re warming up, showing you things, asking you to play, seeking you out when they need help – families see that and feel relieved. If kids are still tentative or resistant by the end of the trial, families worry that chemistry isn’t developing.
Here’s something parents won’t say directly but absolutely evaluate: are their kids happier or more stressed when you’re around? If you’re managing behavior well but kids seem anxious or subdued, that’s concerning. If there’s more laughing and playing and kids seem relaxed, even if things aren’t perfectly organized, that’s what families want.
They’re Evaluating Cultural Fit More Than Skills
Families are asking themselves whether having you in their home every day feels natural or awkward. This isn’t about whether you’re a nice person. It’s about whether your presence fits the vibe of their household.
Watch how the family operates and mirror their energy level. If they’re a calm, quiet household, don’t be the person blasting music and bringing high energy unless kids specifically need that. If they’re a boisterous family with kids running around and dogs and constant activity, being overly rigid or trying to impose quiet order feels wrong.
Notice their communication style and match it. Some families are direct and want efficient updates. Others are chatty and want to connect personally. Some prefer texts, others want face to face conversation. Following their lead on communication preferences shows you can adapt to their household rather than expecting them to adapt to you.
Pay attention to their parenting style and work within it. If they’re attachment-focused parents who prioritize emotional connection over strict schedules, don’t spend the trial week implementing a rigid routine. If they value structure and consistency, don’t wing it and play things by ear. You’re not there to change their parenting – you’re there to support it.
Be aware of unspoken family rhythms. Maybe they’re always relaxed on weekend mornings or maybe they run around getting ready for activities. Maybe evenings are calm family time or maybe it’s homework and dinner chaos. Fitting into these rhythms rather than disrupting them matters enormously.
Cultural fit also shows up in small social things. Can you make appropriate conversation with parents during transition times without being awkward? When the mom gets home from work stressed, do you read the room and give space or do you try to chat about your day? These tiny social calibrations tell families whether having you around will feel easy or slightly off.
They’re Assessing Your Judgment Constantly
Every decision you make during the trial week, no matter how small, tells families about your judgment and whether they can trust you with their kids when they’re not watching.
Parents notice what you choose to do during unstructured time. If kids are playing independently, do you stay present and available while giving them space to play, or do you hover unnecessarily? Do you pull out your phone constantly or do you find productive things to do? Neither extreme is great – you don’t want to be on your phone all the time but you also don’t need to narrate every moment.
They’re watching what you do when minor problems come up. If a kid spills juice, falls and scrapes a knee, or has a minor conflict with a sibling, how do you handle it? Staying calm, addressing issues appropriately without overdramatizing, and solving small problems independently shows competence. Panicking over minor things or running to parents for every tiny issue suggests you won’t function well independently.
Families pay attention to how you prioritize when you can’t do everything. If it’s almost pickup time and the playroom is messy but kids need snacks before you leave, do you choose correctly? If you’re supposed to start dinner prep but kids need help with homework, do you communicate the conflict and adjust appropriately?
They’re evaluating whether you take appropriate initiative versus needing constant direction. Good judgment means you clean up spills when you see them, you start preparing lunch before kids get hungry and meltdown, you notice the diaper bag needs restocking before you’re heading out without wipes. You’re not waiting to be told to do obvious things.
Parents also watch what you ignore versus what you address. If kids are doing something dangerous, do you intervene immediately? If they’re bending rules but not in unsafe ways, do you have the judgment to know when to enforce firmly versus when to let small things slide? Rigid rule enforcement makes family life miserable, but not enforcing anything creates chaos. Finding that balance shows judgment.
They’re Noticing How You Communicate
Every interaction during the trial week demonstrates your communication style and whether it works for this family.
Parents are watching whether you keep them appropriately informed. At the end of each trial day, do you give them a useful update that covers the important stuff without overwhelming them with minutiae? “Emma had a great day, ate well, we went to the park, she went down for her nap easily, and she did the art project I mentioned” gives the right level of detail. A ten-minute play-by-play of every moment is too much.
They’re paying attention to whether you bring up concerns appropriately. If something happened that they should know about – their kid seemed sick, had an emotional moment, said something concerning – do you mention it? Or do you either hide things you think might make you look bad or create drama over normal kid stuff?
Families evaluate whether you ask clarifying questions when you need information. Pretending you understand something when you don’t leads to mistakes. But asking for their input on every tiny decision makes you seem incapable of independent judgment. Strong communicators know the difference between “I need clarification on your preference about screen time” versus “should I give him the red cup or the blue cup.”
They’re noticing whether you’re receptive to feedback. If they suggest doing something differently during the trial, do you take it in stride and adjust, or do you get defensive? Being coachable matters enormously to families because it tells them they can shape this working relationship rather than being stuck with whatever approach you bring.
Watch how you communicate with kids in front of parents. They’re evaluating whether you’re consistent with your language, whether you follow through on what you say, whether you redirect behavior effectively. If you tell kids to do something and then don’t ensure it happens, or if you make threats you don’t enforce, parents notice.
They’re Sensing Whether You’re Genuinely Invested
Families can tell the difference between nannies who are just trying to land a job versus people who actually seem interested in their specific kids and household.
Show genuine curiosity about their children. Ask questions about interests, favorite activities, things that make them happy or upset. Remember details they share and reference them later. “Emma mentioned she loves butterflies, so I thought we could look at your butterfly book today” shows you’re paying attention and care about connecting.
Notice things about how their household functions and show you’re trying to learn their systems. “I noticed you keep art supplies in this cabinet – should I put everything back there or is there a different spot you prefer?” demonstrates you’re observing and adapting rather than just going through the motions.
Act like you’re already part of the team. When you see something that needs doing, do it. When you notice they’re running low on something, mention it. When you have an idea for an activity or improvement, share it respectfully. This isn’t your household yet, but families want to see that you’re thinking about how to contribute rather than just clocking in and out.
Be enthusiastic about the things their kids are excited about, even if you personally couldn’t care less about dinosaurs or princesses or trucks. Kids know when adults are faking interest, but so do parents. You don’t have to pretend to love everything, but showing genuine engagement with what matters to their kids demonstrates care.
The nannies who get offers after trials seem like they want this specific job with this specific family, not just any position because they need work. That level of genuine interest can’t really be faked for multiple days. Either you’re connecting with these kids and interested in this household or you’re not. Families sense the difference.
What Actually Doesn’t Matter as Much as You Think
Some things nannies stress about during trials turn out not to be deal-breakers at all.
Minor mistakes don’t typically eliminate you from consideration if you handle them well. You forgot to pack something in the diaper bag. You misunderstood which park they meant. You served lunch ten minutes later than planned. None of these things matter if you own the mistake, apologize appropriately, and fix it. Everyone messes up during learning curves. How you handle mistakes matters way more than whether mistakes happen.
Not knowing where everything is kept yet doesn’t bother families. You’re learning their household. Asking “where do you keep the kids’ rain jackets?” is completely normal during a trial. Families expect you’ll need time to learn where things live. Pretending you know and then making mistakes or wasting time searching is worse than just asking.
Having a different approach than the last nanny isn’t necessarily bad. Families might have loved their previous nanny but still be open to your way of doing things if it works well. Don’t stress about trying to replicate exactly what someone else did. Show them your approach and let them evaluate whether they like it.
Not being perfect at everything on day one doesn’t disqualify you. You might be great with the kids but still learning the household routines. You might have their systems down but still building rapport with the toddler. Growth over the course of the trial week actually reassures families that you’re capable of learning and adapting.
Red Flags That Kill Trial Weeks
Some behaviors during trials pretty much guarantee you won’t get an offer regardless of your skills.
Being late or unreliable during the trial week is disqualifying. If you can’t show up on time during the week you’re trying to prove yourself, families assume that’s the best you’ll ever be.
Being on your phone constantly for personal stuff tells families you’ll do that permanently. Some phone use is fine, but if you’re texting friends, scrolling social media, or taking personal calls frequently during work time, you won’t get an offer.
Speaking negatively about anything – previous families, other jobs, the traffic, whatever – creates bad impressions. Save complaints for your friends. During trials, be positive or neutral about everything.
Not following their explicit instructions about something important shows you either weren’t listening or don’t think their preferences matter. If they said no screen time and you put kids in front of the TV, or they asked you to use specific products and you substituted what you prefer, that’s a problem.
Acting like you already know everything or being resistant to their input suggests you’ll be difficult to work with long-term. Families want nannies who are confident but coachable, not people who act like their way is the only right way.
How to Position Yourself for an Offer
Show up every day on time, prepared, and with good energy. Be warm with kids without trying to force instant deep bonds. Pay attention to family culture and adapt to their style. Demonstrate solid judgment in how you handle the normal situations that come up. Communicate clearly and receptively. Show genuine interest in their specific kids and household. Handle mistakes gracefully. Be present and engaged during work time.
That’s honestly it. The nannies who succeed during trials aren’t doing anything magical. They’re showing families that having them around works, that kids are responding well, and that the working relationship feels like something that could succeed long-term.
After twenty years watching nannies go through trials, we know the ones who get offers aren’t necessarily the most experienced or credentialed. They’re the ones who feel right to families – where kids are warming up to them, where daily life runs smoother with them than without them, where parents feel confident this person will take good care of their children and fit into their household culture.
Go into trial weeks focused on demonstrating you’re reliable, judgment, and genuine care for these specific kids. Show families that hiring you will make their lives easier and their children happier. That’s what trials are really evaluating, and that’s what leads to offers.
