The offer looks good on paper. The pay is fair, the family seemed warm at the interview, the kids were manageable. But before she says yes, a nanny with any experience has a list of things she still needs to understand – and how a family answers these questions tells her as much about the job as the interview itself did.
These aren’t unreasonable requests for information. They’re what professional candidates need to make an informed decision, and families who are bothered by the questions tend to be flagging something worth paying attention to.
What the actual schedule looks like, not what it looks like on average. “Generally 8-5 but sometimes a little later” is not a schedule. Experienced nannies want to know what late actually means – is it 5:30 occasionally, or is it 7pm regularly because the parents’ work doesn’t allow for predictability? What happens when a parent can’t get home by the agreed time? Is there an expectation to stay? Is overtime paid? The families who are vague about schedule are often the families whose schedules are genuinely unpredictable in ways that affect quality of life significantly.
Whether there’s a written work agreement. A professional nanny asking about a work agreement is not a red flag. It means she’s treated her career professionally and expects the family to do the same. Families who don’t have a work agreement, aren’t planning to create one, or become defensive when asked about one are signaling something. She’s deciding whether to accept a job that will occupy 50 hours of her week. She’s allowed to want it in writing.
Why the last nanny left. This is the question families sometimes dodge, and the dodging itself is informative. “It just wasn’t the right fit” without any additional context can mean anything. The nanny who asks this and gets a thoughtful, honest answer feels better about the family. The nanny who gets a vague non-answer or a version of events that puts all the difficulty on the previous nanny is learning something important.
What the work-from-home situation looks like. If one or both parents work from home, that changes the nature of the job substantially. How often, in what capacity, with what expectations about separation between the nanny’s work with the children and the parents’ presence in the home – these aren’t minor details. They affect how the day flows, whether the nanny has real authority to manage the kids without constant parental commentary, and whether the household environment is one where she can do her job well.
The benefit structure. Paid time off, sick days, holidays, health insurance contribution – these are legitimate components of compensation, and their presence or absence affects total compensation significantly. A nanny being offered $28 per hour with two weeks of PTO and a health insurance contribution is in a different financial position than a nanny being offered the same hourly rate with no benefits. She needs to understand the full picture to make a real comparison.
What happens during trial periods. Is the trial period compensated at full rate? Is there a defined evaluation period before employment is considered permanent? What are the terms if either party decides it’s not working during that period? Families who treat trial periods as a way to evaluate someone for free, or who are vague about how the transition from trial to permanent works, are creating conditions that experienced nannies find off-putting.
Whether the household has other staff and what those relationships look like. A nanny joining a household with a housekeeper, a house manager, or other staff needs to understand the dynamics and hierarchy. Knowing who she reports to, how coordination works, and whether previous staff relationships have been smooth is relevant to whether this is a functional working environment.
Families sometimes interpret these questions as the nanny being difficult or demanding. The more accurate interpretation is that she’s done this enough to know what she needs to understand before committing. The candidates who don’t ask these questions aren’t necessarily easier to work with – they just might not know yet what to ask, which comes with its own set of risks.
The nannies who ask the right questions before accepting are often the ones who stay. They knew what they were getting into.
