The family sits across from you, smiling warmly. They’ve just spent thirty minutes asking you questions about your experience, your childcare philosophy, and how you’d handle various situations. Now they turn to you: “Do you have any questions for us?” This moment matters more than most nannies realize. The questions you ask reveal whether you’re a professional who thinks critically about fit or someone who’ll accept any position offered. More importantly, the answers you receive tell you whether this family will be wonderful to work for or a nightmare you should avoid.
Professional nannies understand that interviews are two-way evaluations. Yes, families are assessing whether you’re right for their children. But you’re also assessing whether this family, these children, and this working situation align with your professional goals, values, and needs. The families who respect you most are those who appreciate thoughtful questions that demonstrate you’re taking the decision seriously.
After twenty years of coaching nannies through the interview process, we’ve learned which questions consistently reveal the most useful information about families, working conditions, and whether placements will succeed. Not asking questions, or only asking surface-level ones, leaves you vulnerable to accepting positions that won’t work out. Asking strategic, thoughtful questions helps you make informed decisions that protect your career and wellbeing.
Questions About Daily Routines and Expectations
Understanding what your actual day-to-day work will look like is foundational to assessing whether a position fits your skills and preferences. These questions help you visualize the reality of the role beyond the job description.
“Can you walk me through what a typical weekday would look like in this position?” gives you concrete information about schedule, routines, responsibilities, and the flow of daily life with this family. Listen for whether they can articulate clear expectations or seem vague about what they actually need. Pay attention to whether the day they describe matches your understanding of the job description and whether it sounds sustainable.
“What does a typical weekend look like, and what involvement would you expect from me?” clarifies weekend expectations even if you’re not regularly scheduled to work weekends. Some families expect weekend availability for occasional needs. Others truly don’t contact nannies on weekends. Understanding their patterns and expectations prevents surprises.
“How do your children typically respond to new caregivers, and what can I do to help make transitions smooth?” shows you care about the children’s adjustment while also revealing whether the family has realistic expectations. If they say their children instantly love everyone, they might not be preparing you for a potentially rocky adjustment period. If they’re thoughtful about transition challenges, they’re likely realistic employers.
“What are your children’s current interests, challenges, and what you’re working on developmentally with each of them?” demonstrates your focus on the children while revealing how involved and observant the parents are. Their answers tell you whether they think deeply about their children’s development or have more surface-level engagement.
“What responsibilities beyond direct childcare would be included in my role?” addresses the crucial question of scope. Will you do children’s laundry only or all household laundry? Will you prepare meals just for kids or for the whole family? Will you run errands, manage household tasks, or focus purely on childcare? Get specific clarity before accepting positions.
Questions About Communication and Working Relationship
How families communicate and what kind of working relationship they envision significantly impacts your daily experience. These questions reveal their communication style and relationship expectations.
“How do you prefer to communicate during the work day, and what kind of updates do you want?” tells you whether they want constant texts with photos, prefer a daily verbal summary, use shared logs, or have other preferences. Misalignment on communication expectations creates ongoing friction, so clarity upfront matters.
“What does your ideal working relationship with a nanny look like?” is beautifully open-ended and reveals what they value. Some families want collaborative partnerships. Others prefer clear employer-employee boundaries. Some want nannies who feel like family. Others want professional distance. Understanding their vision helps you assess compatibility.
“How do you typically handle disagreements or concerns that arise?” shows you’re realistic that challenges will occur and you want to understand their approach to conflict. Families who say they never have problems or seem uncomfortable with this question might struggle when real issues arise. Families who can articulate healthy conflict resolution processes are usually mature employers.
“What happened with your previous nanny, and what worked well or what would you want to be different this time?” gives you crucial information. How they talk about previous nannies reveals a lot about their character. Do they speak respectfully even if the situation didn’t work out? Do they take any responsibility for their role in problems? Or do they blame everything on the nanny? Red flags abound in how families discuss previous caregivers.
“Are you working from home, and if so, how do you typically manage boundaries during work hours?” addresses the increasingly common work-from-home situation. You need to know whether parents will be present, how they handle being home while you work, and what expectations exist around their involvement versus your autonomy.
Questions About Compensation and Benefits
Many nannies feel uncomfortable asking about compensation directly, but these are essential business questions that professional employment requires you to understand clearly.
“What is the compensation structure, and how is overtime calculated and paid?” should be straightforward but often isn’t. You need explicit clarity about base salary or hourly rate, how overtime works, whether you’re paid for all hours worked, and when and how you’ll be paid. Vague answers to these questions are red flags.
“What benefits are included?” addresses paid time off, sick days, holidays, health insurance contributions, professional development support, or other benefits. Professional nanny positions should include benefits beyond just base compensation. If families seem surprised by this question, they may not understand professional household employment standards.
“How and when are compensation reviews handled?” shows you’re thinking long-term and expect your compensation to grow with your tenure and performance. Families who have never thought about raises or seem uncomfortable with this question might not be good long-term employers.
“Are taxes and employment properly handled with payroll services?” is crucial. You need legal employment with proper tax withholding. Families who want to pay cash or seem unclear about employer tax obligations are red flags you cannot ignore. This affects your financial records, tax filings, and legal protections.
“What happens if you need me to work additional hours, travel with you, or adjust my schedule?” clarifies how they handle changes from normal schedule and whether you’ll be compensated appropriately. Some families are excellent about paying for additional work. Others assume flexibility without reciprocal compensation.
Questions About Family Values and Discipline
Understanding families’ values and approaches to parenting helps you assess whether you can work within their framework or whether fundamental misalignment exists.
“What’s your approach to discipline, and how would you like me to handle challenging behaviors?” reveals their parenting philosophy and whether it aligns with your approach. If they have no consistent discipline strategy, you’ll struggle. If their approach conflicts with your values, you’ll be frustrated. If they’re thoughtful and clear, you can work within their framework.
“What are your core family values, and how do those show up in daily life?” is open-ended but revealing. Some families won’t have a clear answer, which tells you something. Others will articulate values that either resonate with you or don’t. Understanding their values helps you assess long-term compatibility.
“What aspects of your children’s development and growth are most important to you right now?” shows whether parents think developmentally about their children and what they prioritize. Their answers reveal what they’ll value about your work with their kids.
“Are there cultural, religious, or lifestyle elements that would be important for me to understand and respect?” addresses potential areas where alignment matters. If a family has dietary restrictions, religious practices, languages they want emphasized, or cultural traditions they want maintained, you need to know whether you can authentically support these elements.
Questions About Practical Logistics
Practical questions about logistics, equipment, and working conditions help you assess whether the position is actually sustainable for your life and needs.
“What is the schedule, and how much advance notice will I have about changes?” pins down both the regular schedule and flexibility expectations. You need to know whether you’ll have consistent hours or frequent last-minute changes, and how much notice they provide.
“If I’ll be driving, what vehicle will I use, and how is insurance handled?” addresses crucial logistics if driving is part of the role. Never drive children without proper insurance coverage. Families should handle this appropriately if they expect you to drive.
“What sick day and backup care policies do you have?” reveals whether they’ve thought through what happens when you’re ill or need time off. Do they have backup care options? Will they resent you being sick? Understanding this prevents conflicts.
“Where will I park, and are there any specific household logistics I should understand?” covers practical details that affect your daily experience. Parking challenges, building security, pets you need to work with, or other household specifics all impact your job.
“If this is a live-in position, can you show me the accommodations and explain what spaces are mine to use?” is essential for live-in roles. You need to see actual living space, understand privacy expectations, and know what house access you’ll have. Don’t accept live-in positions without seeing where you’d live.
Questions That Reveal Red Flags
Some questions are specifically designed to surface potential problems. How families respond tells you whether they’re employers you want to work with.
“Why is this position available?” should have a clear, reasonable answer. Family circumstances changed, previous nanny moved away, children outgrew need for full-time care, or similar explanations make sense. Vague answers or obvious discomfort with this question warrant further investigation.
“Have you employed household staff before, and what have you learned about being a good employer?” reveals their experience and self-awareness. First-time employers who are thoughtful and eager to learn can be wonderful. First-time employers who assume it will be easy or don’t think they need to learn anything about being good employers often create problems.
“How do you handle situations where your needs and my personal schedule conflict?” tests whether they understand you have a life outside work and whether they respect boundaries. Do they expect you to sacrifice personal commitments whenever they need you? Or do they try to work around your schedule when possible?
“What would you say is the most challenging aspect of this position?” shows whether they’re honest about difficulties. Every position has challenges. Families who claim everything will be perfect are either naive or dishonest. Families who can articulate challenges while explaining how they’ll support you through them demonstrate realistic maturity.
Reading Between the Lines
What families say matters, but how they say it and what they avoid saying matters just as much. Pay attention to non-verbal cues and patterns in their responses.
Notice whether they answer questions directly or deflect and redirect. When you ask about compensation and they immediately change subjects or give vague non-answers, that’s concerning. Direct questions deserve direct answers.
Watch for consistency between what they say and what you observe. If they claim they want collaborative communication but constantly interrupt you or talk over you during the interview, believe the behavior more than the words.
Pay attention to how they speak about their children, their previous nanny, and their household. Do they seem genuinely warm about their kids while realistic about challenges? Or do they complain about their children’s behavior in ways that feel inappropriate?
Notice your gut feelings during the interview. If something feels off even though you can’t articulate exactly what, trust that instinct. Your subconscious picks up on subtle signals that your conscious mind might rationalize away.
Observe how they treat other people if you interact with anyone beyond the parents during the interview process. How they treat service providers, neighbors, or anyone else reveals their character.
When Not to Ask Questions
While asking questions is important, timing and appropriateness matter. Some topics should wait until you have an actual job offer or should be handled through your agency rather than directly.
Don’t ask detailed compensation questions in first interviews unless they bring it up. General questions about compensation structure are fine, but negotiating specific salary during initial conversations feels premature. Save detailed compensation discussions for when there’s mutual interest.
Don’t ask about time off and vacation during initial interviews unless they raise the topic. Once you have an offer, these discussions are absolutely appropriate. But leading with “how much time off will I get” in the first conversation suggests you’re more focused on not working than on the actual job.
Don’t ask questions that reveal you didn’t prepare for the interview. “How many children do you have?” or “how old are your kids?” shows you didn’t review basic information you should know before interviewing. Come prepared with fundamental facts about the family.
Don’t turn the interview into an interrogation. Balance asking questions with natural conversation. You’re trying to understand the position and family, not cross-examining them for prosecution.
The Seaside Nannies Difference in Supporting Candidates
At Seaside Nannies, we understand that interviews are critical moments in your career. We share information about families that helps you prepare thoughtfully – their communication styles, what matters most to them, potential challenges they’ve mentioned, and context that helps you ask informed questions.
We tailor-fit every step of our process. Never automated, never one-size-fits-all. We provide context about specific families that helps you assess opportunities accurately and make decisions that serve your career interests.
For nannies in competitive markets where the pressure to accept offers can make you overlook warning signs, having comprehensive information about families before interviews helps you evaluate opportunities more effectively. We want you in positions where you’ll thrive, not just any position available.
The questions you ask during interviews significantly impact your ability to assess whether positions are right for you. Understanding what to ask, how families respond, and what those responses reveal protects your career and helps you accept positions where you’ll genuinely succeed.
