You were hired as a nanny for two children. Six months in, your employer casually mentions you’ll also be caring for their newborn nephew three days weekly. The family you work for in Austin initially needed afternoon coverage but now expects you available for evening babysitting multiple nights weekly without discussing compensation adjustments. Your job description said light housekeeping related to children, but you’re now expected to clean the entire house and prepare family dinners. The position you accepted has transformed into something substantially different, and you’re unsure whether to address it, how to push back, or whether you should just be flexible and accommodating.
After twenty years watching nannies navigate changing job expectations from Austin to major cities nationwide, we’ve learned that scope creep in household employment is nearly universal. What starts as reasonable work responsibilities gradually expands until nannies find themselves doing far more than originally agreed to, often without compensation adjustments reflecting increased scope. The nannies who handle this successfully address changes directly when they occur rather than accepting expanding expectations until resentment builds or positions become unsustainable. The nannies who struggle either never speak up until they’re burned out and ready to quit, or they handle conversations so poorly that relationships deteriorate even when their concerns are legitimate.
Why Job Expectations Change
Understanding why household employment expectations shift helps you respond strategically rather than taking changes personally or assuming families are intentionally exploiting you.
Many families genuinely don’t recognize how much job scope has expanded. They make small requests incrementally, each seeming reasonable in isolation, without stepping back to notice the cumulative effect has dramatically changed what they’re asking of you. The family asking you to pick up dry cleaning, then grocery shopping, then meal prep, then household organizing across six months might not realize they’ve added ten hours of weekly responsibilities beyond your original childcare role.
Life circumstances change for families in ways that affect childcare needs. New babies arrive, older children start activities requiring transportation, work schedules shift requiring different hours, or household situations evolve in ways that genuinely change what families need. These aren’t manipulative attempts to get more from you. They’re real changes requiring adaptation.
Some expectation changes reflect families discovering needs they didn’t anticipate when hiring. First-time parents especially often underestimate household management support they’ll want or misunderstand what nanny roles typically include. They’re learning as employers while you’re learning their household, and this learning process sometimes reveals gaps between initial agreements and actual needs.
However, some families do intentionally expand scope without compensation adjustments because they’ve learned you’ll accept increasing responsibilities without pushing back. If you’ve accommodated requests repeatedly without discussing compensation or boundaries, families learn that asking for more works and costs them nothing. This isn’t necessarily malicious but it is taking advantage of your reluctance to enforce limits.
Understanding why changes occur helps you assess whether families are acting in good faith with genuine needs requiring discussion versus whether they’re exploiting your accommodation. This assessment determines how you approach conversations about changing expectations.
Recognizing When Changes Cross Lines
Not every job evolution requires formal renegotiation. Some natural adaptation happens in any long-term employment as you learn the household and responsibilities shift incrementally. The challenge is recognizing when changes cross from natural evolution into problematic scope creep requiring direct conversation.
Changes requiring discussion include any additions that significantly increase your work hours, involve substantially different types of responsibilities than originally agreed to, require new skills or capabilities you weren’t hired for, or affect your schedule or availability expectations beyond initial agreements.
If you were hired for 40 hours weekly and families are now regularly needing 45-50 hours, that’s not minor fluctuation. That’s systematic expansion requiring compensation adjustment or schedule renegotiation. If your role was pure childcare but now includes substantial household management, cooking, or other non-childcare tasks, that’s different work requiring different compensation.
If you’re being asked to care for additional children beyond those you were hired for, that’s automatically significant change regardless of whether families present it as temporary or minor. Caring for three children is fundamentally different from caring for two, and your compensation should reflect that.
If your schedule expectations have changed from the agreed arrangement, whether that means different hours, working days you weren’t scheduled for, or being expected to be available for last-minute needs when your agreement was for predictable schedules, these are changes requiring discussion.
Changes that don’t necessarily require formal renegotiation include minor variations in daily responsibilities within your general role, occasional requests for flexibility about schedules with adequate notice and appropriate compensation, or natural evolution of your work as children grow and household needs shift in ways that don’t fundamentally alter the scope of what you were hired for.
The distinction is whether changes are minor adaptations within your original agreement versus substantial expansions that transform the nature of your position. When in doubt about whether changes warrant discussion, they probably do, because waiting until you’re certain usually means you’ve already accepted significant scope expansion.
Documenting Changes Before Addressing Them
Before having conversations about changing expectations, document what’s actually changed so you can discuss specifics rather than vague feelings that things are different. Families often don’t recognize scope expansion when confronted with general complaints but can’t deny specific examples with dates and details.
Track what you’re actually doing daily for at least two weeks. Note all tasks, time spent on different activities, additional requests, and anything that differs from your original job description. This gives you concrete data about how your role has evolved.
Compare current responsibilities to your original work agreement. List what was originally agreed to versus what you’re now doing. Quantify the differences including hours, types of tasks, and scope of responsibilities. Having this comparison written out helps you see the full extent of changes and provides documentation for discussions.
Note when requests for new or different responsibilities began and how frequently they occur. Is this occasional flexibility or systematic expansion? Families might claim they’ve only asked for help “a few times” when your records show it’s actually been weekly or multiple times weekly for months.
Document any previous conversations about scope or compensation. If you’ve mentioned feeling overwhelmed or questioned whether certain tasks are part of your role, noting when these conversations occurred and what was said helps establish that you’ve tried to address issues before they reached crisis point.
This documentation isn’t about building a legal case. It’s about having clear, specific information that helps you articulate concerns and prevents conversations from devolving into disagreements about what’s actually happening versus what each party perceives.
Approaching the Conversation Strategically
How you initiate conversations about changing expectations significantly affects whether discussions result in productive adjustments or defensive conflict. Strategic approaches increase likelihood of positive outcomes where families hear your concerns and work with you toward solutions.
Request dedicated time to discuss something important about your position rather than trying to have these conversations in passing or when families are distracted. “I’d like to schedule time to talk about my job responsibilities and how they’ve evolved. When would be good for a conversation this week?” signals seriousness while respecting their schedule.
Frame the conversation around clarification and alignment rather than accusations. “I want to make sure we’re on the same page about my responsibilities” or “I’ve noticed my role has expanded from what we originally discussed and I’d like to talk about how to handle that” is less confrontational than “You’re taking advantage of me” even if that’s how you feel.
Start with specific observations rather than complaints. “When I was hired six months ago, my role was caring for two children with light housekeeping related to their needs. Over the past few months, I’ve been asked to prepare family dinners, clean the entire house, and run household errands. I want to discuss how my role has changed and whether my compensation should adjust to reflect these additional responsibilities.”
This approach provides concrete information families can’t easily dismiss while opening space for productive discussion about how to address the gap between current reality and original agreements.
Use language that assumes good faith while still being clear about the problem. “I know family needs change and I want to be helpful, but the scope of what I’m doing now is significantly beyond what we originally agreed to” acknowledges their perspective while establishing that changes are substantial and need addressing.
Be clear about what you’re requesting. Do you want compensation adjustment to reflect expanded scope? Do you want to reduce responsibilities back to original agreements? Do you want formal clarification about what is and isn’t part of your role? Having clear outcome goals prevents conversations from remaining abstract without resulting in actual changes.
Navigating Different Family Responses
Families respond to these conversations in predictable ways that require different strategic responses from you.
Some families genuinely didn’t realize scope had expanded and respond positively when it’s pointed out. They may apologize, adjust expectations, increase compensation, or work with you to find sustainable approaches that address your concerns. These are the best-case scenarios where honest conversation resolves issues.
Other families acknowledge changes but minimize their significance. They might say “It’s just a few extra things” or “I didn’t think it was that big a deal” or “You’ve always been so flexible.” Respond to this by reiterating the specific scope expansion with concrete examples and time commitments. “I understand it might not seem like much individually, but I’m now working 8-10 additional hours weekly compared to my original agreement, and the work is substantially different from pure childcare. That’s significant change that needs to be addressed.”
Some families become defensive and reframe the conversation as you being inflexible or difficult. They might say you’re not a team player, remind you they’ve been good employers in other ways, or suggest you’re being ungrateful. Stay calm and redirect to facts. “I appreciate what you’ve provided in this position, and I’m trying to have an honest conversation about how the job has changed from what was originally agreed to. This isn’t about being inflexible. It’s about ensuring we’re aligned on expectations and compensation.”
A few families will refuse to adjust compensation or expectations despite acknowledging that scope has expanded significantly. They might claim budget constraints, suggest you can leave if you’re unhappy, or simply refuse to negotiate. This response tells you important information about whether this position is sustainable or whether you need to start looking for new employment where families respect professional boundaries.
Negotiating Adjustments to Compensation or Scope
When families acknowledge that job expectations have changed and are open to addressing it, you need clear proposals about what adjustments would make the situation work for you.
If you’re willing to continue with expanded responsibilities for appropriate compensation, calculate what the additional work is worth. If you’ve added 10 hours weekly of household management tasks beyond childcare, that might justify a $3-5 per hour rate increase or payment for additional hours that weren’t part of your original guaranteed hours.
Present this as matter-of-fact negotiation. “The additional responsibilities I’ve taken on are worth approximately $X in increased compensation based on the time involved and the expanded scope. I’m happy to continue handling these tasks if we can adjust my rate to reflect the actual work I’m doing.”
If you’d prefer to return to your original scope rather than accepting increased compensation for more work, be clear about that. “I was hired as a nanny and that’s the role I want to maintain. I’m not interested in also being a household manager or personal assistant. I’d like us to realign my responsibilities with what we originally agreed to.”
Sometimes compromise works where you’ll handle some expanded responsibilities but not others, or you’ll maintain flexibility about certain requests but need clear boundaries about others. “I’m happy to continue preparing children’s meals and doing their laundry, but I can’t take on full household cleaning and family meal prep. Let’s clarify what stays in my role and what doesn’t.”
For schedule changes, discuss whether flexibility needs to be reciprocal. If families need you available for occasional evening or weekend coverage beyond original agreements, that might be acceptable if you’re compensated appropriately and if you have genuine autonomy to decline sometimes based on your schedule and needs.
Get any negotiated changes in writing through updated work agreements. Verbal agreements about compensation or scope adjustments frequently get forgotten or disputed later. Written documentation protects both parties by creating clear record of what was agreed to.
When to Walk Away
Sometimes conversations about changing expectations reveal that positions aren’t salvageable because families are unwilling to address legitimate concerns or because the fundamental dynamics have become untenable.
If families refuse to acknowledge scope expansion despite clear documentation, become hostile when you raise concerns, or make you feel punished for having legitimate conversation about employment terms, these are signs the relationship has deteriorated beyond repair.
If families agree to changes but then don’t implement them, repeatedly reverting to problematic patterns after promising to do better, you’re learning they either can’t or won’t maintain agreed-upon boundaries. Continuing to accept this teaches them empty promises work to temporarily placate you without requiring actual change.
If you’ve made clear what you need to continue in the position and families can’t or won’t provide it, whether that’s compensation adjustment, scope clarification, or respect for boundaries, staying in the position means accepting conditions you’ve already identified as unsustainable.
Walking away is sometimes the right choice even with families you otherwise like or positions that have positive aspects. Employment that systematically expands beyond agreements without appropriate compensation or that requires you to constantly fight for reasonable boundaries isn’t sustainable regardless of other benefits.
Before leaving, ensure you have options lined up. Start searching for new positions while still employed so you’re negotiating from strength rather than desperation. Give appropriate notice as specified in your work agreement unless circumstances make that impossible.
Protecting Yourself From Future Scope Creep
Once you’ve addressed current scope issues, implementing practices that prevent future expansion without discussion protects you from repeating this cycle in current or future positions.
Maintain clear written work agreements that specify responsibilities in detail. Vague descriptions like “other duties as assigned” or “flexible about helping where needed” create space for unlimited expansion. Specific task lists and responsibility descriptions make it obvious when families are asking for work outside your role.
When families request anything beyond your normal responsibilities, pause before automatically agreeing. “Let me think about whether that fits with my current workload and get back to you” gives you space to assess whether requests are reasonable or whether you need to discuss them before committing.
Establish that changes to your role require discussion and mutual agreement rather than families being able to unilaterally expand expectations. “I’m happy to discuss taking on additional responsibilities, but changes to my role need to be negotiated including any compensation adjustments they might require.”
Address small expansions when they first occur rather than waiting until cumulative effect is overwhelming. It’s much easier to say “Grocery shopping wasn’t part of our original agreement so let’s discuss whether adding that makes sense and how it affects my compensation” when it’s first requested than after you’ve been doing it for months.
Regular check-ins with families about how your role is working create space to discuss scope questions before they become conflicts. These don’t need to be formal reviews, but periodic conversations about whether responsibilities are clear and whether anything needs adjustment prevents issues from accumulating.
The Seaside Nannies Perspective
At Seaside Nannies, we’ve placed nannies throughout Austin and nationwide markets for twenty years, and scope creep is among the most common challenges we hear about from nannies in established positions. The nannies who navigate this successfully address changes directly when they occur rather than accepting expanding expectations indefinitely.
We tailor-fit every placement, which includes creating detailed work agreements during the matching process that specify responsibilities clearly and establish frameworks for discussing changes. Never automated, never one-size-fits-all. Clear initial agreements don’t prevent all scope expansion but they provide reference points that make addressing changes easier.
Household employment is dynamic and some evolution of responsibilities is natural as families’ needs change and as nannies build trust and demonstrate capabilities. But evolution should be mutual and intentional, not one-sided expansion that happens because nannies hesitate to speak up. When job expectations change substantially, professional employees have every right to discuss whether changes require compensation adjustments or whether original agreements need to be honored. Families who respect you as a professional will understand this and work with you toward fair solutions.
