The first week with a new nanny feels like a whirlwind. You’re adjusting to having someone in your home, your children are getting used to new routines, and everyone is on their best behavior trying to make good impressions. It’s tempting to withhold judgment during this adjustment period, assuming you need months to really know if the placement will work. But here’s what twenty years of nanny placements has taught us: the first week reveals nearly everything you need to know about long-term success if you know what to watch for.
Patterns established in the first week tend to become entrenched patterns over time. How your nanny handles challenges during week one predicts how they’ll handle challenges in month six. The communication style they demonstrate initially is likely the style you’ll experience long-term. The initiative and engagement they show early either continues or declines, rarely increases significantly after the first impression period ends. Understanding what the first week is actually telling you helps you address concerns early, recognize when you’ve made an excellent hire, or acknowledge when a placement isn’t going to work before everyone invests months in a doomed situation.
How Your Nanny Handles Your Children’s Testing
Children almost universally test new caregivers during the first week. This isn’t defiance or poor behavior. It’s developmentally normal as children figure out boundaries, authority, and what they can expect from this new person in their lives. How your nanny navigates this testing reveals crucial information about their capabilities.
Watch whether your nanny stays calm when children test boundaries. Do they maintain composure when your toddler throws a tantrum or your preschooler deliberately defies instructions? Nannies who respond with patience, consistency, and appropriate firmness during week one have the emotional regulation needed for long-term success. Those who become flustered, angry, or permissive under pressure show you exactly how they’ll handle harder situations when the honeymoon period ends.
Notice whether they can redirect behavior effectively rather than just reacting. Strong nannies use distraction for young children, give choices to maintain some control, set clear expectations calmly, and follow through with appropriate consequences. Week one testing reveals whether they have a toolkit of behavioral strategies or just wing it hoping children comply.
Pay attention to whether children’s testing decreases as the week progresses. When nannies handle initial testing well, children typically begin accepting their authority and testing less by week’s end. If testing escalates or remains constant throughout the week, your nanny might not be establishing appropriate authority effectively.
Observe how your nanny talks about challenging behaviors. Do they describe situations matter-of-factly and discuss how they handled them? Or do they seem personally offended by children’s behavior, frame it as disrespect, or act like your children are uniquely difficult? Professional nannies understand that challenging behaviors are normal parts of childhood and don’t take them personally.
One family noticed their nanny handled their three-year-old’s defiance beautifully during the first week. She stayed calm, provided choices, followed through consistently, and by Friday the testing had significantly decreased. Six months later, they had zero behavioral concerns because their nanny had established solid foundations immediately. Contrast this with another family whose nanny seemed overwhelmed by similar testing and kept looking to parents for help managing situations. That nanny never gained confident authority and struggled throughout her tenure.
Communication Patterns Established Immediately
How your nanny communicates during week one sets the tone for your entire working relationship. The good news is that communication patterns are visible immediately. The challenging news is they rarely improve significantly after the initial period.
Notice whether your nanny proactively shares information about your children’s days. Do they volunteer details about what children ate, how they napped, activities they enjoyed, or concerns that arose? Or do you have to ask multiple questions to extract basic information? Proactive communicators continue sharing throughout employment. Those who wait for you to ask every detail never become more forthcoming.
Watch how they ask questions when they’re unsure about something. Do they ask for clarification confidently, acknowledge what they don’t know yet, and seem eager to understand your preferences? Nannies comfortable asking questions during week one continue communicating openly long-term. Those who seem reluctant to admit uncertainty or avoid asking questions often make assumptions that cause problems later.
Pay attention to their responsiveness to your communication. Do they reply promptly to texts or calls? Do they acknowledge instructions and confirm understanding? Or do messages go unanswered and you’re never sure if they received information? Responsiveness patterns established in week one persist throughout employment.
Observe whether they can receive feedback without defensiveness. When you offer gentle corrections or suggestions during the first week, do they accept input gracefully and adjust their approach? Or do they become defensive, make excuses, or seem offended? How nannies handle early feedback predicts how they’ll respond to future constructive criticism.
Notice the quality of their daily updates or check-ins. Are they detailed, thoughtful, and focused on meaningful information about your children? Or are they generic, minimal, or miss important details you need to know? The level of communication detail you see in week one is typically the level you’ll get long-term unless you explicitly request changes.
Initiative and Engagement Levels
Professional nannies demonstrate initiative and genuine engagement with children from day one. This isn’t about being perfect or knowing your family’s routines immediately. It’s about showing active interest, taking ownership of their role, and engaging authentically with your children rather than just supervising them.
Watch whether your nanny plans and initiates activities with children or waits for children to entertain themselves. Even during week one when they’re still learning your home and resources, strong nannies suggest activities, bring ideas they’ve prepared, and actively engage rather than just responding to whatever children want to do.
Notice whether they observe and adapt to your children’s interests and needs. Do they pay attention to what captures children’s attention, what causes frustration, and what each child uniquely enjoys? Nannies who observe thoughtfully during week one continue tailoring their approach based on individual children’s needs long-term.
Pay attention to whether they take initiative on practical matters beyond just childcare. Do they straighten children’s spaces without being asked? Do they start children’s laundry if that’s part of their role? Do they identify supplies running low and mention them? Or do they do exactly what’s explicitly requested and nothing more? Initiative levels visible in week one typically remain stable or decline, rarely increasing.
Observe their energy and engagement throughout each day. Everyone can be enthusiastic for a few hours, but can they maintain positive energy throughout full workdays? By day four or five of week one, you’re seeing closer to their baseline energy level than the heightened first-day performance. If energy and engagement are declining noticeably by week’s end, that trajectory continues.
Watch whether they genuinely seem to enjoy your children. This sounds intangible, but you can tell the difference between someone going through motions of childcare and someone who authentically delights in children’s personalities, finds joy in their development, and seems genuinely invested in their wellbeing. That authentic connection either exists from the start or develops rarely.
Reliability and Professionalism Basics
Basic reliability and professionalism indicators visible in the first week predict long-term patterns more accurately than families often realize.
Arrival times during week one set expectations for the entire relationship. If your nanny arrives exactly on time or a few minutes early consistently during week one, that pattern usually continues. If they’re already running late, texting last-minute, or cutting timing close during the honeymoon period when they’re trying to impress you, lateness will be an ongoing issue.
How they handle their first sick day or personal need during week one demonstrates how they’ll handle schedule conflicts long-term. If they give appropriate notice, communicate clearly, and seem genuinely apologetic about the inconvenience, you can trust they’ll handle future conflicts professionally. If they’re vague, inconsiderate about notice, or seem cavalier about disrupting your schedule, expect similar patterns repeatedly.
Notice whether they respect your home and belongings. Do they leave spaces tidy, handle your children’s toys and books carefully, and treat your home respectfully? Or are they careless with belongings, leave messes, or seem unaware of basic household respect? These patterns established in week one continue throughout employment.
Observe their professionalism in interactions with you. Do they maintain appropriate boundaries, communicate respectfully, and conduct themselves as professionals? Or do they blur professional lines, seem overly familiar too quickly, or lack professional demeanor? Professional boundaries established early (or not established) set the tone for the entire relationship.
Watch how they handle their own needs during workdays. Do they manage their own breaks, meals, and personal time appropriately without disrupting children’s routines? Or do they seem unclear about boundaries around personal time during work hours? Self-management visible in week one predicts long-term sustainability.
Red Flags That Should Concern You Immediately
While some adjustment is normal during the first week, certain patterns should raise immediate concerns rather than waiting to see if they improve.
Your children showing persistent distress that doesn’t decrease as the week progresses warrants investigation. Some initial shyness or testing is normal, but genuine fear, extreme clinginess that doesn’t improve, or children begging for your nanny not to come back signals something wrong that shouldn’t be ignored.
Your nanny seeming consistently overwhelmed or unable to manage basic situations during week one suggests they’re over their head. Everyone has moments of uncertainty with new situations, but persistent overwhelm during the relatively easy honeymoon period predicts significant struggles when things get harder.
Discovering dishonesty or inconsistencies during week one, even about small matters, is a serious red flag. If you catch them lying about what children did, what happened during the day, or anything else, trust is broken immediately and rarely recovers.
Boundary violations happening already during week one when they should be on best behavior indicate someone who will have significant boundary problems long-term. Asking overly personal questions, showing up unannounced, or crossing professional lines immediately suggests this will be an ongoing issue.
Lack of engagement or obvious disinterest in your children during week one when they’re supposedly trying to impress you reveals that they’re probably not passionate about childcare and took the job primarily for income rather than genuine interest in working with children.
Positive Signs Predicting Long-Term Success
Just as red flags appear early, positive indicators of excellent long-term placements are visible during the first week when you know what to look for.
Your children warming to your nanny progressively throughout the week demonstrates healthy relationship development. By Friday, children should seem more comfortable, more willing to engage with the nanny, and showing signs of beginning trust even if they still prefer parents.
Your nanny demonstrating consistent calm, patience, and good judgment in handling various situations throughout week one predicts they have the temperament for long-term childcare success. You want to see stability and reliability, not perfect performance without any challenges.
Communication feeling natural and flowing both directions suggests you’ve hired someone who will be a genuine partner in your children’s care. The best nanny relationships involve comfortable, honest, regular communication that starts developing immediately.
Your gut feeling increasingly positive as the week progresses is valuable information. Trust your instincts when everything feels right, when you’re relieved to have this person in your home, and when you can tell your children are in good hands.
The nanny showing genuine investment in getting to know your children individually, learning your family’s routines thoughtfully, and asking good questions about your preferences demonstrates professional engagement that continues long-term.
What to Do with What You Observe
Understanding what week one reveals only helps if you act appropriately on that information. Different observations require different responses.
For minor concerns or areas needing adjustment, address them directly and promptly during week one. “I noticed you struggle with getting the kids’ winter gear on. Let me show you our system.” Early, gentle corrections allow nannies to adjust before patterns become habits.
For positive signs and things working well, acknowledge them explicitly. “I really appreciate how calmly you handled the tantrum this morning. That’s exactly the approach we want.” Positive reinforcement in week one encourages excellent patterns to continue.
For significant red flags suggesting fundamental problems, address them immediately or consider whether this placement will work. Don’t ignore serious concerns hoping they’ll improve. Week one problems rarely magically resolve without direct intervention.
For patterns that seem potentially concerning but not clearly problematic yet, observe for another week or two while monitoring closely. Not everything that seems like it might be an issue becomes a real problem, but stay attentive.
For placements that feel solidly positive by week’s end, invest in supporting your nanny’s continued success. The good start they’ve shown deserves your continued clear communication, reasonable expectations, and partnership in creating excellent childcare for your children.
The Seaside Nannies Perspective
At Seaside Nannies, we stay closely involved during the first week of placements. We check in with both families and nannies, help troubleshoot early challenges, and provide perspective on whether what families are observing falls within normal adjustment or signals potential problems.
We tailor-fit every step of our process, including supporting families in accurately interpreting what the first week reveals. Never automated, never one-size-fits-all. We know that families sometimes overreact to normal adjustment challenges, and other times miss genuine red flags because they want placements to work out. We help families distinguish between these scenarios.
The first week tells you nearly everything about whether a nanny placement will succeed long-term. Patterns of communication, handling challenges, engagement with children, and basic professionalism established immediately rarely change significantly unless directly addressed. Paying attention to what week one reveals, addressing concerns promptly, and recognizing positive signs helps you either build on excellent foundations or acknowledge problems early enough to make changes before everyone invests months in unsuccessful situations.
