The holiday season is when families with young children need the most support. School breaks, family gatherings, travel, entertaining – these are precisely the times when having reliable childcare is essential. So it’s particularly frustrating when your family assistant PTO requests for Thanksgiving week, Christmas week, New Year’s, and basically every other holiday on the calendar. You’re standing there wondering if they understand that these are the exact times you hired them to be available.
This creates genuine tension because holidays matter to everyone. Your family assistant has their own family, their own traditions, their own desire to spend important days with the people they love. You get that. But you also hired someone specifically to provide childcare support, and if they’re unavailable during every peak period, what exactly are you paying them for? The challenge is finding a balance that respects their personal life while also ensuring your family has the coverage you need.
At Seaside Staffing Company, we see this play out constantly in Chicago families where holiday schedules get complicated by extended family obligations, travel plans, and cultural traditions on both sides. The solution isn’t to deny all holiday requests or to give unlimited time off whenever asked. It’s to establish clear policies upfront about how holidays are handled and what’s reasonable to expect.
Start by looking at what you actually agreed to when you hired your family assistant. What does their employment contract say about holidays and PTO? Did you specify which holidays are working days versus paid holidays off? Did you establish blackout periods or requirements about holiday coverage? If you didn’t address this explicitly during hiring, you’re both operating with different assumptions about what’s reasonable.
Some families treat major holidays as automatic paid days off for household staff. Others expect staff to work holidays at premium pay. Most families are somewhere in between – some holidays are off, some are working days, and there’s flexibility for special requests with advance notice. The key is being explicit about which category each holiday falls into for your specific household.
Create a holiday policy if you don’t have one. List out the major holidays for the year. Specify which ones are guaranteed paid time off, which ones are expected working days, which ones are flexible based on family needs. Communicate this at the beginning of the year so your family assistant can plan accordingly. “Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day are paid days off. The week between Christmas and New Year’s is a working week unless we discuss otherwise. All other holidays need to be requested and approved based on our schedule.”
At Seaside Staffing Company, we recommend families think about their actual needs rather than defaulting to either extreme. If you genuinely don’t need childcare during holiday weeks because you’re home and managing kids yourself, be flexible about time off. If holiday weeks are when you desperately need help because you’re hosting or traveling or managing complex logistics, make that clear and expect your family assistant to be available.
When your family assistant requests holiday time off, evaluate based on several factors. How much advance notice did they give? Is this a request for a major holiday that’s important to their family traditions? Have they been flexible about other scheduling needs? Is there alternative coverage available? What’s your actual family schedule during that time? These factors should inform your decision rather than just automatically saying yes or no.
Be honest about what requests are genuinely difficult versus just inconvenient. Your family assistant requesting Thanksgiving week off when you’re hosting 20 family members and need all hands on deck is legitimately problematic. Your family assistant requesting a random Tuesday in March off is probably just inconvenient but manageable. Scale your response to the actual impact.
Consider rotating who gets priority for major holidays if you employ multiple childcare providers. Maybe your family assistant gets Thanksgiving this year and your nanny gets Christmas, and you switch next year. Or maybe you have a system where staff with young children get preference for school break weeks. Creating fairness across your household team prevents resentment and makes it easier to say no when necessary.
Pay attention to patterns. If your family assistant requests every single holiday off every single year, you’ve got someone who fundamentally doesn’t understand that childcare is needed most during school breaks and family-focused times. That might mean this position isn’t the right fit for them. Some childcare roles require working holidays, and if your family assistant can’t or won’t do that, they should find a job with a different schedule.
Offer premium pay for working major holidays if you’re asking your family assistant to work when they’d rather be with their own family. Time-and-a-half or double-time for holiday work acknowledges the sacrifice and makes it worth their while. Some families also offer comp time – work Christmas and take an extra day off later when it’s more convenient for the family.
Talk about expectations during hiring for future positions. “This role requires working during school breaks and some major holidays. We’re flexible when we can be, but childcare needs are highest during those times and we need reliable coverage. If that doesn’t work with your family obligations, this might not be the right position.” Being upfront prevents conflicts later.
If your family assistant genuinely can’t work holidays due to family obligations, help them problem-solve alternatives. Can they find their own backup coverage for those specific days? Can they shift their schedule around holidays to make up hours? Can you adjust their role or compensation to reflect that they’re not available during peak times? There might be creative solutions that work for everyone.
At Seaside Staffing Company, we tell families that it’s reasonable to expect some holiday availability from full-time childcare staff, especially during school breaks. It’s not reasonable to expect them to work every single holiday without complaint. The balance is in clear policies, advance planning, fair compensation, and mutual respect for both family needs and staff personal lives.
If holiday requests are creating genuine coverage problems, address it directly. “I’ve noticed you’ve requested off for most major holidays this year. I need to make sure you understand that this position requires some holiday availability, especially during school breaks when our childcare needs are highest. Let’s talk about which holidays are most important to you and which ones you can commit to working so we can find a sustainable arrangement.”
Watch for whether your family assistant is taking advantage of flexibility or genuinely managing legitimate family obligations. Someone who requests off for their child’s wedding or a major family emergency deserves flexibility. Someone who requests every holiday off because they’d rather not work those days isn’t respecting the nature of childcare employment.
The goal is a sustainable arrangement where your family gets needed coverage during peak times and your family assistant gets reasonable time off for their own important life events and traditions. That requires clear communication, fair policies, advance planning, and willingness to compromise on both sides. If you can’t reach that balance, you might have the wrong person in this role.
