A family offering competitive compensation, good benefits, a reasonable schedule, and children who seem delightful sometimes finds that the experienced nanny they interviewed has declined the position. They’re confused because on paper the job looked ideal, and they thought the interview went well. What they don’t know is that the nanny noticed things during the interview process that predicted a difficult placement, and she made the professional decision to pass rather than accept a position that would likely end badly. Experienced nannies have pattern recognition that families don’t always realize is operating, and the things that make them walk away are often the things families aren’t aware they’re revealing.
When the Family Can’t Agree During the Interview
A nanny interviewing with both parents present notices when they contradict each other about expectations, schedules, or parenting approaches. One parent says the schedule is fixed, the other mentions it might need to be flexible. One parent describes a structured routine, the other says they prefer to keep things relaxed. One parent emphasizes independence for the children, the other focuses on safety and supervision. The nanny who hears this kind of misalignment during the interview understands that she’s looking at a household where the parents haven’t worked out their own approach, and she’ll be caught between them.
This is one of the most reliable predictors of a difficult placement, and experienced nannies decline positions when they see it, even if everything else looks good.
When the Questions Focus Entirely on What the Nanny Will Do for the Family
An interview where the family asks extensive questions about what the nanny can provide, what her skills are, what she’s willing to handle, but shows no curiosity about what she needs to be successful, what matters to her professionally, or what kind of working environment she thrives in, is an interview where the family is approaching the hire as a one-way transaction rather than a professional relationship. The nanny who experiences this kind of interview recognizes that the family sees the position from their perspective only, and that employment relationship will likely reflect that imbalance.
Nannies who have options choose the families who showed genuine interest in them as professionals, not just as service providers.
When the Logistics Don’t Actually Work Despite Assurances
A family who says the commute is easy when the nanny knows it’s genuinely difficult. A family who describes the schedule as consistent when the details they provide suggest it’s actually quite variable. A family who says they value work-life balance but then casually mention they might need evening or weekend flexibility fairly often. The nanny who hears these disconnects recognizes that either the family is not being fully honest, or they’re not being realistic about what they’re actually offering.
Either situation is a reason to decline. If the family isn’t honest during hiring, the employment relationship will have that problem throughout. If they’re not realistic about what the position involves, the mismatch will surface once the nanny starts and discovers the real situation.
When the Household Feels Chaotic or Disorganized
A nanny who visits the home for an interview or trial day observes the household’s organization level, how the children’s spaces are maintained, whether there are systems in place or whether everything feels improvised. A household that’s genuinely chaotic during the interview will be chaotic to work in, and the nanny will spend significant energy trying to create structure in an environment that doesn’t support it.
This doesn’t mean the house needs to be pristine. It means the nanny is assessing whether there’s enough baseline organization that she can do her job well, or whether she’ll be constantly fighting entropy.
When the Boundaries Are Already Being Tested
A family who contacts the nanny late at night or early in the morning before she’s even started. A family who asks her to run personal errands during the interview process. A family who mentions casually that they might need help with things outside the discussed job scope. A family who doesn’t respect the time boundaries the nanny sets for communication during the hiring process. These are signals that the family’s relationship with professional boundaries is going to be a problem, and the nanny who sees them early knows they’ll intensify once employment begins.
Experienced nannies decline positions when the boundary issues are visible before the job even starts.
What Families Who Consistently Lose Good Candidates Should Examine
A family whose offers are regularly declined by qualified candidates should consider whether something in their interview process, their expectations, or their presentation of the position is creating red flags. Are both parents aligned on what they’re hiring for? Are they communicating honestly about the position’s realities? Are they approaching the hire as a professional relationship or as a service transaction? Is the household environment one a professional would want to work in?
At Seaside Nannies, when families are struggling to close candidates despite making competitive offers, the conversation often includes what the interview process is revealing to candidates and whether the family’s presentation of the position matches the reality candidates will experience.
