You made it through the first year. The adjustment period is over, everyone knows the routine, the kids are comfortable, and things are running smoothly. You’re thinking the hard part is done and now you can just coast on the solid foundation you built. Except somewhere around month fifteen or eighteen, something shifts. The job that felt exciting starts feeling monotonous. Small annoyances you overlooked during year one suddenly feel unbearable. The family starts taking you for granted in ways they didn’t before. Or you start noticing they’re not following through on promises they made when they hired you.
Welcome to year two, the period when more nanny placements fall apart than any other time except the first three months. After twenty years watching placements succeed and fail across Los Angeles and nationwide, we know that year two is when the real test happens. Not the initial compatibility test of whether you can work together at all. The sustainability test of whether this working relationship can actually last long-term.
The families and nannies who make it past year two usually build placements that last for years. The ones who don’t navigate this period successfully often end employment somewhere between months eighteen and thirty, even when year one felt perfect. Understanding why year two is so challenging and what’s actually being tested during this period makes the difference between lasting partnerships and relationships that quietly deteriorate until someone finally quits or gets let go.
The Honeymoon Phase Actually Ends
During year one, everyone’s on their best behavior. Families are grateful to have found someone competent. Nannies are excited about the new position and motivated to prove themselves. Both parties overlook small frustrations because the overall situation feels positive and they’re still building the relationship.
Year two is when that initial goodwill runs out. The gratitude families felt about finding you gets replaced by expectation that you’ll just continue doing excellent work. The excitement you felt about the position fades into routine. Small annoyances that you tolerated during year one – the dad who’s always ten minutes late getting home, the mom who texts about work stuff during your off hours, the kids who don’t listen the first time you ask them to do something – stop feeling like minor issues and start feeling like chronic problems.
You’re also not making the same effort to impress anymore. During year one, you went above and beyond constantly. You stayed late without complaint. You took on extra responsibilities cheerfully. You were endlessly patient with the kids even on hard days. Year two is when you start operating at sustainable pace rather than impress-the-new-employer pace, and families sometimes interpret that shift as you caring less or getting lazy.
Families stop trying as hard too. They’re less careful about respecting boundaries. They’re less appreciative of the work you do. They start assuming you’ll accommodate their needs without asking properly. The politeness and consideration that characterized year one interactions gets replaced by taking each other for granted.
Neither party is doing this maliciously. It’s just what happens when novelty wears off and reality sets in. But this shift from honeymoon phase to actual working relationship is exactly when placements get tested.
Compensation Expectations Become Issues
Year one compensation felt fine because you were learning, proving yourself, and building the resume boost of working with this family. Year two is when you start thinking your compensation should reflect the value you’re actually providing now that you’ve proven yourself.
Most nannies expect raises after a year. Not huge raises, but something that acknowledges their increased value – they know the family’s routines now, they’ve built relationships with the kids, they handle things independently that required guidance initially. When families don’t offer raises or when the raises feel insulting relative to the work being done, resentment builds.
Los Angeles has high cost of living that keeps increasing. What felt like adequate compensation eighteen months ago might not cover your expenses anymore, especially if your rent increased or if you’re supporting family or dealing with unexpected costs. You’re doing the same work for effectively less purchasing power, and that feels unfair.
Families sometimes resist raises because from their perspective, you’re doing the same job you were doing when they hired you. They don’t see that you’ve gotten significantly better at it or that you’re handling way more independently. They’re also dealing with their own financial pressures and they think raises should be tied to expanded responsibilities, not just time served.
These diverging perspectives on compensation create tension that often surfaces in year two. The nanny feels undervalued and unappreciated. The family feels the nanny is being greedy or entitled. Neither perspective is wrong, but the mismatch creates problems if it’s not addressed directly.
Routine Becomes Monotony
Year one had built-in variety through learning the family’s systems, building relationships, figuring out what works. Everything was new and engaging even when challenging. Year two is when you’re doing the same routines repeatedly with no learning curve to keep things interesting.
You’re making the same lunches, doing the same pickup and dropoff routines, managing the same behavioral issues with the same strategies, going to the same parks and playdates. The work that felt fresh in year one feels repetitive in year two. You’re competent and efficient but you’re also a little bored, and boredom makes every minor frustration feel bigger.
For nannies who thrive on novelty and challenge, this is when they start looking for new positions even though nothing is actually wrong with current placement. The job hasn’t gotten worse. It’s just stopped being stimulating, and that lack of stimulation feels like a problem.
The families notice the shift too. Your energy feels different. You’re less enthusiastic about suggesting new activities. You seem to go through the motions more than you did initially. They worry you’re checked out or looking to leave, which creates tension even if you’re actually just adjusting to the reality that jobs become routine over time.
Some nannies navigate this successfully by creating variety within their roles – trying new activities with kids, adjusting routines slightly, taking on new challenges. Others realize they’re people who need regular change and this long-term placement model doesn’t fit their personality. Neither is wrong, but year two is when this becomes apparent.
Boundaries Get Tested More Aggressively
During year one, families generally respect the boundaries you set because they’re still trying to keep you happy. Year two is when they start pushing harder because they’ve gotten comfortable and they know you’re not likely to quit over small boundary violations.
The scope creep that was minor in year one accelerates in year two. Families ask for “quick favors” more frequently. They’re less apologetic about schedule changes. They expect you available during times that were supposed to be off-duty. They add responsibilities gradually enough that it’s hard to point to one moment where the job changed, but over months the accumulation becomes significant.
You’re also less likely to push back firmly because you don’t want to seem difficult or create conflict in a working relationship that’s otherwise functional. So you accommodate the first few requests, which signals to families that the boundaries you set during negotiations weren’t actually firm boundaries. This creates a cycle where families keep asking for more and you keep giving ground until you hit a limit and suddenly react strongly to something that seems minor to them but represents the accumulation of months of boundary erosion.
The same pattern happens with communication boundaries. Families who respected your off-hours during year one start texting about work during evenings or weekends. They call when you’re on vacation. They expect responses quickly even when you’re not on duty. Each individual contact seems reasonable from their perspective, but collectively they’re treating you like you’re always available.
Year two is when these boundary issues reach critical mass. Either you address them directly and reset expectations, or they continue escalating until the working relationship becomes unsustainable.
Hidden Incompatibilities Surface
Some fundamental mismatches don’t become apparent until you’ve worked together long enough to see patterns. Year one was too short to reveal certain incompatibilities that show up clearly in year two.
Maybe the family’s parenting approach bothered you slightly during year one, but year two is when you realize it’s not just different from your approach – it’s something you fundamentally disagree with to the point where implementing it daily makes you uncomfortable. You can’t articulate one specific thing they do wrong, but the cumulative effect of working within their parenting philosophy feels increasingly difficult.
Or maybe your working styles are incompatible in ways that weren’t obvious initially. They’re highly anxious and need constant updates and reassurance. You’re independent and find micromanagement suffocating. During year one you accommodated their need for communication because you were proving yourself. Year two is when accommodating that style starts feeling exhausting rather than just slightly annoying.
Sometimes the incompatibility is about values or priorities. They prioritize achievement and structured activities. You prioritize free play and child-led learning. During year one, you could implement their approach without it feeling like a major conflict. Year two is when implementing approaches you don’t believe in starts weighing on you emotionally.
These incompatibilities might be dealbreakers or they might be manageable differences if addressed directly. But they only become clear after enough time working together to see real patterns rather than isolated incidents.
The Kids Change in Ways That Affect Dynamics
The children you started caring for eighteen months ago aren’t the same kids anymore. They’ve grown and developed in ways that change the job significantly, and sometimes those changes make the position less appealing.
The baby you were hired to care for is now a toddler with big feelings and challenging behaviors. The sweet three-year-old is now a limit-testing four-year-old who argues about everything. The kids aged out of the stage where your specific skills were most valuable. What was engaging work with infants becomes less interesting work with school-age kids who need less hands-on care.
Developmental changes also shift family dynamics. Kids develop preferences about caregivers. They test boundaries differently. They understand more about family dynamics and sometimes put nannies in uncomfortable positions. The relationship you built with children during their younger stage doesn’t automatically transfer as they grow, and rebuilding connection with kids in new developmental stages takes work you might not have anticipated.
Sometimes kids become significantly more challenging in ways the family doesn’t address. Behavioral issues that were minor in year one escalate in year two, and if parents aren’t supporting you in managing them, the job becomes exponentially harder. You’re dealing with aggressive behaviors or emotional dysregulation or defiance that makes daily work exhausting in ways it wasn’t initially.
Or the opposite happens – kids become more independent and the role becomes less necessary. You were hired for intensive care that’s no longer needed. The family still employs you because transitions are hard, but you’re underutilized and bored, which creates its own problems.
What Actually Needs to Happen During Year Two
Year two is when honest conversations need to happen that should have happened during year one but everyone avoided because the relationship felt too new. This is when you address compensation, discuss boundary concerns, recalibrate expectations, and figure out if the working relationship can actually sustain long-term.
Families need to recognize that year two isn’t the same as year one, and they need to actively work to maintain the relationship rather than assuming it will continue on momentum. That means appropriate raises, respecting boundaries, expressing appreciation, and checking in about whether the arrangement still works rather than assuming it does.
Nannies need to advocate for themselves clearly rather than hoping families will notice issues. If you need a raise, ask for it directly with specific reasoning about your increased value. If boundaries are eroding, address it before resentment builds to the point where you’re already mentally checked out. If something about the role isn’t working, raise it while there’s still goodwill to work through solutions.
The placements that survive year two are the ones where both parties recognize this is a critical period requiring intentional effort. They have honest conversations. They make adjustments. They remember why the relationship worked initially and actively work to preserve what’s good while addressing what’s not working.
The placements that fail in year two are usually the ones where everyone ignores warning signs hoping they’ll resolve naturally. Small issues compound. Resentments build. Nobody says anything directly until someone quits or gets fired and the other party is blindsided because they didn’t realize things had gotten that bad.
Making It Through to Year Three
If you make it through year two successfully, you’ve actually weathered the hardest test. Year three and beyond are usually more stable because you’ve proven the relationship can handle real issues and you’ve built enough history together that temporary rough patches don’t threaten the whole arrangement.
But getting there requires recognizing that year two challenges are normal, not signs of fundamental failure. Every long-term placement hits this period where initial excitement fades and reality sets in. The question isn’t whether you’ll face these challenges. It’s whether you’ll address them directly or let them quietly destroy a working relationship that could have succeeded with honest communication and mutual effort.
After twenty years placing nannies with Los Angeles families and watching placements either thrive or fall apart, we know year two is the real test. Families who understand this and actively work to maintain relationships during this period keep excellent nannies for years. Nannies who recognize this pattern and advocate for themselves clearly build lasting placements that support their careers long-term. Both parties ignoring year two challenges? That’s when placements that seemed perfect quietly deteriorate until somebody finally calls it.
Pay attention to year two. It’s telling you everything about whether this placement can actually last.
